really reeling. he cheated again. lies lies and more lies. i try to live authentically. I can not control the world but I like to know that my little portion of it is at least operating in a conscience and honorable manner.

I curse too much but I am kind. I put every living being before me. I only wanted one person to put me first. I expected my heart to be treated as a valuable and fragile gift that I gave to him, that meant something.

I can not tolerate this any longer. I need to get a lawyer and make a plan that protects the kids and me in the most smooth way possible. He will be a dick because he can. And it will be my fault no matter what.

keeping emotions in check. not letting him own any more of the broken bits that are my heart.